Mutti Modus

On friendship, radical care, and why tenderness can be a political promise

What happens when we no longer understand mothering as a function that shapes identity, but as a lived practice? When we no longer tie it to biological family, but shift it to where we live—in friendships, queer networks, temporary alliances? When it's no longer about who you are, but how you are there for others?

Text: Photos: Jasmin Biber

When friends call me “Mutti,” I don't see it as a joke or an annoying label, but rather as an appreciative compliment. It describes an attitude that I like to adopt—without striving for perfection, without expectations. For me, being mothered means being allowed to take a short break. Not having to function. Simply being held without having to worry about being too much.

We often think that this kind of care is tied to family. But at its core, it's about paying attention and being there for others—without conditions. It's about creating a space where we can learn that we don't have to function, and where neediness is not considered a weakness.

In my life, it was often not my parents or family who made this closeness possible, but friends. People who stayed. Who saw what was missing without having to be told. Perhaps care shifts in general as we get older. Perhaps we have to re-learn it. Learning, giving, accepting—without conditions.

In queer and feminist contexts, “mothering” has long been rethought as a collective practice—as shared responsibility, as a bond that is not limited to traditional family models. Where classic structures are lacking or failing, supportive networks and temporary alliances are emerging. This shift makes it clear that care does not have to be tied to biological or institutional affiliations, but arises from a conscious decision to be there for one another.

“Mothering” therefore refers less to a role and more to a gesture. It is not about being a mother, but about being caring. It is about care work that is defined not by identity, but by action:

“I see you – and I will stay.”

In a society that prioritizes performance over relationships and stigmatizes neediness, mothering is a quiet but effective act of counter-movement. It is not about motherhood in the biological sense, but about a fluid, reciprocal practice of care that strengthens friendships, creates new forms of closeness, and resists the existing pressure to perform.

“I will hold you, even if you are not shining.” “I am there, even when you are not.” Those who are held in this way get to know themselves anew. Mothering thus becomes a social imagination, a space of possibility for other forms of togetherness. It is not the question of who you are that counts, but how you are there, for yourself and for others. A radical practice of closeness in a society that often demands the opposite.

It's not about fixing someone. It's about being there.

Not as a role, but as a repeated action.

Not perfect, but present.

Not functional, but reliable.

When I'm out with friends today, taking care of them, paying attention to them, organizing things—then this care becomes visible. And political.

Because it doesn't ask whether someone deserves it. When someone says, “You're really like a mom,” or “Thanks, Mom,” it sums up something that's hard to put into words. A form of relationship that's not based on kinship, but on attention. On the desire to be there for each other.

A project on the theme of M(OTHER)ING, realized in collaboration with the Applied Photography and Time-Based Media class led by Prof. Maria Ziegelböck at the University of Applied Arts Vienna. Created as part of Yasmina Haddad's MATCH! #4 course.

The interrelationship between photography, fashion, and casting is examined, with a focus on the relationship between photographer and subject—and vice versa. The mother figure is not meant biologically, but is considered through acts of care: m(other)ing is a verb. Mothers mother, fathers mother, girlfriends mother—you can also be the mother of a house! Are you maternal? Or are you mothers? Like queens?*

Jasmin Biber (1995) is a photographer and visual artist currently studying photography and time-based media at the University of Applied Arts Vienna. In her artistic practice, she addresses social issues and creates images that visualize the universal experiences of belonging, identity, and social relationships. She explores questions of social class, transgenerational trauma, and care work—often drawing on personal experiences and biographical moments. Her work understands these issues as collective, structural challenges and invites us to reflect on them as shared experiences.

To my loving and supportive friends, in front of and behind the camera:
Models: Vanessa Z. with Dalmonia R., Lea M. with Hanna, Charlotte L. with Paulina S., Francis with Maria